I wish i was in the wii world.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
i out mim tonsoeep
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