Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
