If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
