didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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