how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
