i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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