ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
and you fell through a lawn chair
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
