the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
