in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
