What did we do last night that was yellow?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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