They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
