It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
