His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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