do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I have fence marks all over my body
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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