ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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