I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
