We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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