He asked to "fluff my boner.."
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
