Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
