Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
