Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Randomize
