i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
