just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
