carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Dear god my vagina.
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