I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
