He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
