Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize