wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
