i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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