seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
