hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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