do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
