Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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