Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
