YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
As shirtless as possible
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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