Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
