Don't you send me to vm
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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