Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
