i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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