I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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