I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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