Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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