So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize