Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
In America we eat man semen.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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