quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So much rum. So many feels.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
