I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize