Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My dick has a subreddit
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
