I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
