He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
