I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
