Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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