Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
