How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
