i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
