You just made me feel so damn special
You work out of a Hotel?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
