I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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