it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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