The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
