we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i think my cat just said my name.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
